Long overdue photographs from NYC

My friend Simona and I went to NYC for reading week (way back in Feb). We walked a lot and also got yelled at on the street, stayed with super sweetheart couch surfers, drank so many fresh juices, went to strange parties, drooled over lofts, danced at cool parties and saw a lot of art. (I had also recently lost my super fave HD Fuji Film camera of many years, these are digital too but I actually think they look a lot like film and I miss my HD.)








El Anutsui’s incredible, completely recycled pieces at the Brooklyn Museum.






Judy Chicago’s Dinner Party at the Brooklyn Museum.

Unknown/forgot to write it down at The Brooklyn Museum.


yaaaaay Brooklyn! am I in Girls yet am I in Girls yet am I in Girls yet?



Unknown artist at a Chelsea Gallery.
Unknown artist at a Chelsea Gallery.
A Jenny Morgan self portrait at some Chelsea Gallery. I died, couldn’t look away.







Hanging out all night with my friend Matt Donnelly at ‘The Studio’, where he works. (Making outfits for celebrities, props for film sets and costumes for kids birthday parties with billionaire parents, fifty pairs of child sized hobbit feet anyone?)



What I love most about NYC is that it’s like every colour and culture are stacked on top of each other, and the subway, obviously. Speed dating on the L-train, always.

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Purgatory Between Two Lives.

I’m at the Edmonton airport right now on a layover between Montreal and Regina, it feels a lot like purgatory.

Airports remind me of the internet, almost place-less and glass tiled and filled with light and sort of freakishly open in some places but packed in others, so many different kinds of people and things inside, but themselves just feeling like framework to hold.

I have a pound of smoked meat in my carry on bag for my mom because she likes it so much, I declared it at the baggage check in just in case, and because I like saying it, “Meat. MEAT Meat Meat.”

I’m drinking a XL 4 hour old cold coffee. And I haven’t slept for more than 3 hours at once in over two days. Also, there are some ten year old girls hired to sing pop songs in the terminal? See, purgatory right? I’d for sure pack meat with me for purgatory, just in case, no access to flesh would really be the true torture.

I was so sad to leave MTL because everything is so sunny and all parks and all wine, all the time there right now. But, I said goodbye to a few of my closest friends for varying amounts of month long trips this week, so it seems like the right time to go.

I’m on route to the Queen City to work for/with Lisa, my boss lady/life partner who owns SEED Sustainable Style, for couple of weeks. She has designed/created her own collection for Saskatchewan Fashion Week (next week), and we’re also throwing what will be a super rad after party event called FORM at The Artful Dodger next Friday.

DIY hair dye. #glamor #gettingrunwayready

I’ll probably be the everywhere girl, which is how I often felt working for her for over two years before moving to Montreal, (and really like, variety!). Translating art vision speak into audience readable statements, social networking all over the place, preparing the clothes + anonymous tasks for the shows, modelling and performing for the shows + hopefully some photo shoots, and of course having soooooo much fun, and also drinking a lot of wine, hanging out with Liam (her unicorn greyhound) and wearing a lot of lipstick.

I’ve been feeling a little nervous about Regina itself because hometowns are dramatic. But, the closer I’m getting to actually being there, the more I’m looking forward to it and remembering the many things I love about the place (in contrast to all of the reasons why I left). To be honest though, now my number one concern over the next couple of weeks is who am I going to makeout with in my hometown?! Seriously. (male models hopefully?)

(another sad reason to leave MTL, flesh. FLESH Flesh Flesh. Wish I could have packed cuddles for purgatory. I’ve actually never been kissed in an airport so there’s a life goal.)

Oh well, only four more hours till I’m in the body of the beast. Raaawrr. ha.

Must Blog even when Happy

I haven’t been blogging! (obviously) and this is a problem!

In the wrath of the end of the semester I totally fell behind on posting about the projects, adventures and art that I’ve been creating/having/exploring. And then I fell straight from that extreme (the school haze chaos) to another (not being home for more than 3 hours for days and days at a time, all parks and all substances and all the makeouts etc.)

and for that I deserve a slap on the wrist. which I am administering to myself right now as in actually I’m just drinking coffee and eating pizza like usual.

Blogging for me is a way to monitor my productivity/progress/projects – to maintain a goal I have of creating/working on creative projects everyday, so that it becomes second nature/a way of life. I have a bad habit of falling into rabbit holes, recently having realized that I am so presently minded I sometimes can’t even remember what happened last week and I can barely see more than a few days in advance. I’m also, a possibly dangerous blend of introverted and manic-social, so I can very quickly end up down down down the rabbit’s path into some sort of ‘might be an opium den, might be a thursday afternoon’ and I haven’t slept in my own bed for three nights in a row and I forgot that I’m an artist and also where I stop and you begin and I need to be creating or else I go insane!

The thing that blogging helps with most is that each post has a date on it, so I can clearly see how long it’s been since I sat down and really invested enough time to finish something. (I am getting pretty consistent with writing daily but they’re often scattered and left unfinished in word documents, my notebooks, and digital post it notes on my phone, these days written on the walk from one lovers kitchen to another. Blogging is a way to hold myself accountable, to myself, to practice writing a lot and fleshing out ideas and to keep moving, always forward.

BUT also, SPRING! and there’s been so much happening! so many wonderful and new and varied things and people and experiences (cliche mascot over here) in my life right now! I’m even thinking that maybe my happiness can be measured by how often I blog per month (although this hasn’t been scientifically examined) because I haven’t really done much of anything on here in ages but I’ve also been really happy lately.

“Happy” – an umbrella term for I like my life and myself and my friends a lot.
(and we have a lot of fun) (Montreal knows how to love well!)

***MUST WRITE/CREATE/BlOG EVEN WHEN HAPPY***
So basically this is a non-update update rant to get myself back in the flow of posting!

ALSO though! I’m done my first year of university and it went surprisingly well. I had really encouraging feedback from all of my profs, who all said very similar things, which was basically that they think that I will do/create/go very interesting things/places and that I have a really striking presence, should do more performance work and continue to push myself, just more-bigger-farther, but that I seem fairly scattered and unorganized and that this hinders me, which I really appreciate and agree with. (what this post is about basically)

^This is a picture of me (that I like, looking so happy, how I feeeeeeeeel), taken by my friend Simona while we were giggly and waiting for the Parc Ave bus on our way to the loveliest dinner party I’ve been to so far this year. so there you have proof!

I need a ‘the world is your oyster’ guide/menu?

I’m just letting the universe*** know that I don’t know what I want to do with my life over the summer, aka the whole 4 months currently hanging aimless between the comfort of two grounding school semesters.

Some current options are pretty obvious things like, go home for a bit, stay in Montreal and work, sleep all day, drink all night, lay around in parks wearing short shorts and feeling all young-like in the sun, ect. Many of those things may/hopefully happen, but nothing has that ‘yes this totally feels right’ feeling yet.

And! it’s a little early but, I’m also looking for a new home in Montreal starting July (city wide annual moving day) – and I’d like to live with roommates! maybe in a loft? maybe with studio space? (and/or I’m also looking for studio space, ha) – preferably plateau/mile end.

***so please let me know of any life choices/ directions/ jobs/ internships/ homes/ workshops/ classes/ opportunities/ ideas/ places/ festivals/ roadtrips/ collaborators/ ect. that you feel would be fitting to (however it is you perceive) me – (I need a ‘the world is your oyster’ guide/menu?)

I really believe that the internet is serendipitous, so it’s worth a try!

Lately – Mini, Medium & Mega Cities. Mhmmm.

Mini – I went home for the holidays. ‘Home’ is Regina Saskatchewan and the holidays were mostly giggle pile ups and lots of brunching after passing out in my winter jacket.

I did a performance with Fada Dance at the annual Xmas party as an innocent reindeer sacrificed by the three Christmas spirits to a pack of white wolves. I wore shoes on my hands and pranced, then the wolves came and devoured me (I had tinsel stuffed in my shirt as mock blood). I’ve joked with some friends that I really related to my character, ha! I’ve been dancing with Fada since I was 15 and have really missed the studio and the community since moving, so I loved that they asked me to be a part of the show.

Other highlights over the holidays include many blue (lipstick) new years eve kisses, and getting hit by a car while riding drunk in a shopping cart at 3am (because this is what we do for fun in cities without after hours parties, be warned).

Also! I got instagram! so that is major! add me. @moodynightshade
mostly I take pictures like this:

Medium – Montreal makes my heart swell!

Since the first night I got back to the city after Xmas I’ve felt like it is home to me. It’s like in first semester I was gathering all of these pieces and now they really feel like they’re coming together. Cheesy cliche I know but true, I love the community there!

In the past month I’ve made 3 films for school! Which was a huge learning curve because I’ve never done any video work before, and navigating the editing programs is like a hella brain ache. I have cried in the computer labs like at least 5 times. Sometimes due to life shit making me bawl-y emotional, sometimes cause I’d had to re-load all of my video files into the same project over 6 times and then it took 2 hours to render, just in time for my class critique and then it saved incorrectly and everything was lost all over again. whyy.

So I went to my critique crying with nothing to show. Thankfully my profs let me present the following week and gave me chocolate to cheer up. Harry Potter anyone?

This also means that I used a canon for the first time. Love at first focus!

Some friends from class and I got drunk with our profs. That was so art school sitcom I can’t even write about it here, but I will tell you that we inhaled all of the poutines.

Also, I’m taking a performance art class this semester! Which is exciting but so far has mostly just meant that on Tuesday mornings I watch videos of people mutilating their bodies and doing things naked for 4 hours. (I’m only sort of kidding)

*Side note/detour: Also, I’ve been especially depressed lately. And I’m only including this in my list of ‘Lately’ things because people keep asking me if I’m sad and it seems like they’re hoping I’ll say that I’m not. But I am, and I have been, and maybe I always will be in many ways, and I think that’s okay! Sadness happens, as does happiness, as do many tangled emotions, all the time, everyday. One of my major (many) pet peeves with our culture is this idea that everyones supposed to be happy all of the time, and as if you can’t feel various emotions simultaneously. My depression exists in a constant state of flux, and it’s really important to me to acknowledge this so I can continue to get better at dealing with it. I have a history of childhood trauma, everyday regular life is traumatizing, these things aren’t going anywhere, so why ignore them any more or less than the rad stuff?*

Mega – Right now I’m in New York!
A super dreamy cafe in Brooklyn called the ‘Tea Lounge’ to be exact.
(it’s reading/anti student suicides week woooooooooo!)

My friend Simona and I caught the bus last Friday morning and we’re here till this Monday morning. I didn’t sleep on the Thursday night before we left. I also couldn’t wash the classic make out smeared, bright red lipstick off my face, so I went through the super dystopian US customs looking like a whore. Such a mess, Ha!

NY is so endless! like woah I can’t even grasp it. We’ve been staying with the loveliest couch surfers, mostly exploring as many areas as possible and gallery hopping by day, party perusing by night. Almost everyone is vegetarian and graffiti is king.

Today I went to the Brooklyn Museum, this is me and Judy Chicago’s The Dinner Party:

I’ll post more about the projects I’ve been working on & this trip soon! I ❤ NYC Mhmmm

Just a messy collection of holiday-like thoughts.

It’s my first actual day back in my hometowwwwwn.

And I haven’t slept, at all. this is my latest thing, to not be able to, or sometimes to not even really try to sleep when everyone else is.

I just can’t turn my brain off.

And at night my brain goes into super high gear over drive, it just happens to be when I discover ALL of the best twitter poets, and stellar feminist blog articles that link to 5 more articles that I want to read in each one.

And the cats, at my old house, where I’m staying, they’re like genetically modified cuddle cats, like I couldn’t sleep and miss that supreme level of cuteness, no way.

I had a shower this morning forgetting that it’s winter and that my hair will freeze if I go outside for hours now (I’m firmly super anti blow dryers near my precious hair).

Things are so much easier in the big city.
In Montreal your hair is always insta-2 days greasy in that so sexy way you always wish it would be, even right after you’ve just washed it. It’s like, from the pollution or something.

So I’m writing from bed instead of my desired old haunt coffee shop.
The bonus to this is CATS. the bonus is always cats. right now I have a cat friend head rest. puuurrrrrrrr therapy.

Maybe my ideal man is a cat. wait not maybe, definitely. Am I a cat? what?

I might never leave this house. just perpetuate a spa scenario throughout the entire holidays. Pretty sure I look transplanted straight from the 60’s, in my matching behive towel-duvet cover set.

I got into town last night around 10 or something, my sister and I drover here from Saskatoon where I’d been for a couple of days after taking the train there from Montreal.

It was my moms birthday yesterday and so we just went for beers at the pub to catch up.

So far I’ve noticed two things that have changed about the city.

Number one:
All of my friends are in couples, and more specifically, all different couples than when I left.
Number two:
There’s this weird space age looking plastic dome over the courthouse. I guess they’re re-doing the bricks or something. I’m really in favor of all space age themed and/or styled scenarios, especially with the end/beginning of the world happening this week and the soon to be aired Mars Astronaut try-outs reality TV show (if you haven’t heard of this, you’ve seriously gotta Google.)

The train ride was was long (5pm Tuesday to 1am Thursday in total) and super beautiful and I didn’t take any pictures, but had such a wonderful time.
Coffee, chess, making friends and story telling/listening are really all consuming.
I was on vacation!

The way that I pack feels like a sign of serious psychological trauma. What’s with trying to carry my entire life with me at all times? It’s like I want to be constantly prepared for maybe never going home, or back to where ever I cam from.

A friend and I at the pub last night were joking that I’m getting a university degree in perversion, yep perfect.

I had a strange time in Saskatoon for a few reasons,
One being that I was at one of those parties where everybody and their parents are there, along with their parents ex husbands/wives, and their ex lovers and they’ve all dated and every one of them is someones parent/child, and the connections get to be sort of totally hilarious especially when set in this super beautiful Christmas scene and it’s just all too made for a TV movie.

Another reason is because I fainted at the party.
I’ve never fainted before, and it was probably because I had forgotten to eat all (was sleeping most of the) day, it was also speculated that traveling and lots of change could be factors. I was talking to someone normally and then all of a sudden everything, like all of my senses, were going in and out of focus. I couldn’t figure out what was going at first so I tried to continue my conversation, and then I fell over/friends carried/shuffled me upstairs. It’s a terrible feeling, my first instincts were ‘am I somehow high?’ and ‘am I going insane?’ Like what is happening and why am I not in control of my body? The good thing is that almost as soon as I laid down I felt better, and my little sister brought me carrot sticks and bread and then we just had girl chats upstairs for a while.

Someone later asked why I fainted and an ex boy-friends mom/friend replied for me, “because she’s just a Jane Austen kind of girl.” ha!

Now I’m off for an all day bash with a ton of hometown friends, AWWWW! (cats)

My latest love/obsession/project (as of Saturday)

Waiting for some friends to grab their tickets at the Metro, the concept of ‘planking’ all of a sudden clicked for me. I was standing in front of the stair well, looked down and thought, “I want to plank on this railing, I wanna see what it feels like to interact with this space in an entirely different way.”

I’d first heard about planking years ago when everyone else did, it was an internet meme, and I thought it was dumb, just plain pointless really. Then this summer at a music festival, a friend of mine was like “lets all plank on these tables”, and we got about 6 or 7 people doing it at once (some strangers even!), lots of people were taking photographs and then I thought, “well this is actually super fun! it’s like performance art!”

I’m suddenly fascinated by it’s imagery; striking, whimsical and surreal, yet so simple it takes less than a minute to create. I also really like this idea of examining and challenging everyday life, and the patterns we follow. Why wouldn’t I do this? It’s like a way to re-connect my body to the space I’m in, which feels especially important in places like the metro and busy city streets, where everything can feel a little too systematic.

Also, I generally like to look like I’m a witch at all times.

A friend of mine sent me this clip of ‘The Office’ on Planking – hilarious!