The Queen of Wands.

Christmas holidays are my favorite time of year.

It’s like there’s more energy in the air, the city feels fuller and everyone’s more optimistic There’s such a heartwarming sense of community, old friends come home and connections between new friends seem more likely.

Things seem to get crazier then usual, you may find yourself pilled on a couch with 5 friends at 4am, posing for “family portraits” while wearing gigantic red bows tied around your heads, dancing in a wall of rainbow balloons or watching a friend shoot fireworks off in the middle of a residential street.

Some of my favorite things/events/connections over the holidays:

The Creative City Center Christmas party. The twelve party stragglers sitting in a circle smoking a joint and confessing our “addictions” (mine was patterns, in fabric and in life). Marian (a brilliant woman, and friend, who runs the CCC) told me that she loves my blog, which is incredibly encouraging.

The Fada Dance Christmas party. Appropriately dubbed “The social event of the year.” Performing. Feeling so comfortable on stage and wanting to perform more. Dressing up. So many dear friends. Dancing forever. Inheriting gigantic gold anchor decorations.Me, my mom and her boyfriend Pat.
Thanks to Shawn Fulton for this photo, see more from the Fada party here.

The Red Hot Riot Christmas show, Hilarious and wonderful as always. Watching friends being hilarious and laugh laugh laughing with Eve. The whole room singing along to Christmas songs with Belle Plaine. A Christmas “miracle” aka Colby in a Santa suit.

Going to Patrick and Karens Winter Solstice party with Lisa.
(Karen’s my art therapist that I’m always talking about, read her blog, it’s amazing.)
We did a tarrot card reading, I asked for what theme 2012 would hold for me. I pulled the six of cups: mastery of emotions. Fitting.

Christmas itself was really nice and laid back. Spent a few days with my mom and sister, we laughed a lot. Pat gave me the Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk. I was instantly obsessed and read it all in less than 48 hours.

Seeing incredible friends who live far away.
Screaming in coffee shops and hugging forever.

Being at a house party and an old family friend starts pulling out pictures of me dressed as Loonette the Clown at age 7. We put them up by the DJ.

Having an in-depth and inspiring conversation about my Panties Project at 3am by the campfire with Tanya. So encouraging to talk about my art with artists and women I respect.

After posting about grief and the anniversary of my fathers death, I had such an incredible response. Emails, texts, phone calls, facebook messages, long embracing hugs and encouragement from friends saying that the things I’d written really resonated with them, that they appreciated my openness, that my post was comforting because we so often feel alone in these emotions even though they’re universal. I’m astounded and so thankful to feel so much love.

Breakfast with Kate at Henry’s Cafe. Kate and I are writing pen pals. We send each other things that need to be seen by someone but aren’t yet ready to be seen by anyone else. She actually just started a blog, you should read it, she’s amazing!

Going to robBos ART Projects gallery on NYE. Such a rad mix of gallery, studio and living space. He showed me some of the new paintings he’s working on. I’m not sure if they’re a secret or not, but they’re fucking rad, and racy. He asked if I’d be interested in doing a show with him, obviously I said yes. We had a girl party in his hallway, smoking herbs and drinking from the bottle. Sitting on the floor, couldn’t stop staring at the walls.

Eve, Courtney and I celebrating the countdown with pop rocks as we walked downtown to see Def 3 at O’hanlons. Stellar spoken word-hip hop show. Running into half of this city’s population. Then wine drinking at a beautiful condo with the best view of downtown I’ve ever seen. Felt like we were in a real city. So many cheese dips. Then to a friends house for a pile up-human tangled dance party till 6am.

Waking up at 10am the next day to get organized and drive out to Indian Head with Courtney, Andrea and Sunny for a Seed photo shoot. Stellar car talks, all of us so hungover, thank god Lisa had a caesar station waiting. We shot out at Lebret, freezing our butts off on the hill at the stations of the cross and then did some pictures at Lisas dinning room table:

‘Watch around town for more from the Seedonist Spies, fighting the good fight against fashion crimes and mass production. xox’

Makeup and photo styling by Lisa Wicklund
Photo by: Jason Orban

Then a ladies night, again with the cheese dip, wine, and a very emotional tarot card reading for the new year. I pulled the queen of wands, and it made me a little anxious. The queen (who in the drawing actually looks like a man) sits in a tall thrown with mountains on one side and prairies on the other. A black cat sits in front of her, there are lions and flowers painted all over her thrown and she holds a staff in one hand, a gigantic flower in the other. Essentially, she has her hands full. She’s very well protected and supported but she can’t stay where she sits, or hold it all. My anxiety came from how closely I related to the card. It’s anxiety I’ve felt for a long time, materialized.

The holidays make me want to be everywhere at once, to see everyone at once.
I’m overwhelmed and ecstatic.

The holidays have been an escape from the choices I know I have to make.