Sudden Summer Storms.

A man says in a Spanish accent that he’s closing the window beside me and I say,
“It’s going to rain?”
Disbelieving, liking the air untill yes it’s pouring.

Sitting under a coat rack in the corner, our legs intertwined.

His best friends girlfriend keeps calling me his girlfriend,
loudly and giggling.

“Not girlfriend!” I say from under the coat rack.

He’s sticking his hands in through the rips in my jeans,
we are high on MDMA.

A black capsule split in the bathroom,
he wrapped it in toilet paper.

I made a face,
asking does this actually work?

But,
I swallowed it anyway since he’s been doing drugs for like as long as I’ve been alive.

“Would you like a bump?” Asked another,
the kind of aquaintance I haven’t known how to bond with previously and I hesitated,
“Oh…,” he said, “I dunno, I’m just trying to be nice.”

So I did two off my triangle tattoo because why not and this is how to make friends.

Then I met a guy who looks like Nickelback and we did a bump together too.
Then he stalked me all night like a fucking softcore Canadian nightmare.

Standing way too close, staring, following.
As if I owe him sex for a sniff of Coke.
Haunted by his terrible haircut,
lurking in the shadows of the shadow loft.

So I crawl under the coat rack,
digging in my bag for my soggy gum.

I need three pieces to save the skin inside my cheeks.

And we watch as he lurks at the bar,
watching us be watched.

His best friends girlfriend keeps slipping us free vodka drinks.
We watch super models hullucinate and I rant about friendships.

Beside the bar,
under the coat rack,
he says, “Not girlfirend!”

His eyes coaxing and scanning my face like the first time,
when he was the stalk-y one.

“She’s just teasing us.
You do whatever you want,
I’m just happy to spend time with you.”

And I smiled the smile I feel for being so happy to hear men say that.

And the spanish man with a cigerette in his mouth and a coffee in his hand,
slides back open my cafe window.
Even though it’s still raining,
the wind has softened and the storm has passed.
We exchange smiles and I say, “Thanks.”

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Not All Quite Black and White

Just a collection of images that speeeeeaak to (and inspire and thrill and intrigue) me.

Most of them are unfortunately un-cited (except otherwise stated) because I pulled them from the internet (mostly tumblr) before I had any intention of using them. 

Just a bunch of pretty pictures:

Here’s a non-specific collection from my favourite pictures stash. Unfortunately most were pulled from the internet before I had any intention of using them, so I’m not able to site anything. But I’ve just been craving to share them!

“Thank you for allowing me to feel so comfortable naked with you.”

Last Saturday afternoon I spent a few hours in a hotel room with a lovely couple who wishes to remain anonymous. How’s that for a sentence?

After seeing my nude line drawings they commissioned me to do some of them together. I was admittedly pretty scared/nervous about this at first, but it was actually, so great, honestly. They’re wonderful and hilarious and the whole thing was really romantic (for them, more of an adventure for me). Here are our favorites, which I’ll be replicating as finished pieces:

and my personal fave:

Definitely on my list of top favorite days to never forget.

Image Search: Intimacy

As part research, part -this is what I do when I’m lacking physical intimacy in my life, look at, watch and read about other people being intimate- I spent about 3 hours on we ❤ it looking through photographs tagged ‘intimacy’. Here are my favorites:

 

 

Wham! Time Capsule Boy.

After we’d talked I had him in my brain all day, you know. So I wrote about him:

 You’re just going about your life, in a linear way.

Then, out of nowhere, someone from your past catches you off guard, and suddenly, you’re filled with them.

Just like that.

… read the rest of the story here.

And decided to read/look through my journal/sketchbooks from around the time we were last together.

Here are some things I found:

“Some women choose to follow men, and some women chose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your dreams will never wake up and tell you that they don’t love you anymore.”-Lady Gaga

“I needed to feel real, and I did.”