It’s a self eeeee self world.

Some self portraits taken a few months ago that I recently edited to look like candy.

I’m really interested in ultra-femme power imagery, and an esthetic quality so beautiful it shatters all traditional understandings of what ’empowered women’, femininity, female sexuality and/or ‘beauty standards’ can look like. I also quite literally believe that ‘selfies’ are a revolutionary movement, and that aided by the internet, they can change the worlds perception of women, and women’s perception of themselves, in a really profound way.

Purgatory Between Two Lives.

I’m at the Edmonton airport right now on a layover between Montreal and Regina, it feels a lot like purgatory.

Airports remind me of the internet, almost place-less and glass tiled and filled with light and sort of freakishly open in some places but packed in others, so many different kinds of people and things inside, but themselves just feeling like framework to hold.

I have a pound of smoked meat in my carry on bag for my mom because she likes it so much, I declared it at the baggage check in just in case, and because I like saying it, “Meat. MEAT Meat Meat.”

I’m drinking a XL 4 hour old cold coffee. And I haven’t slept for more than 3 hours at once in over two days. Also, there are some ten year old girls hired to sing pop songs in the terminal? See, purgatory right? I’d for sure pack meat with me for purgatory, just in case, no access to flesh would really be the true torture.

I was so sad to leave MTL because everything is so sunny and all parks and all wine, all the time there right now. But, I said goodbye to a few of my closest friends for varying amounts of month long trips this week, so it seems like the right time to go.

I’m on route to the Queen City to work for/with Lisa, my boss lady/life partner who owns SEED Sustainable Style, for couple of weeks. She has designed/created her own collection for Saskatchewan Fashion Week (next week), and we’re also throwing what will be a super rad after party event called FORM at The Artful Dodger next Friday.

DIY hair dye. #glamor #gettingrunwayready

I’ll probably be the everywhere girl, which is how I often felt working for her for over two years before moving to Montreal, (and really like, variety!). Translating art vision speak into audience readable statements, social networking all over the place, preparing the clothes + anonymous tasks for the shows, modelling and performing for the shows + hopefully some photo shoots, and of course having soooooo much fun, and also drinking a lot of wine, hanging out with Liam (her unicorn greyhound) and wearing a lot of lipstick.

I’ve been feeling a little nervous about Regina itself because hometowns are dramatic. But, the closer I’m getting to actually being there, the more I’m looking forward to it and remembering the many things I love about the place (in contrast to all of the reasons why I left). To be honest though, now my number one concern over the next couple of weeks is who am I going to makeout with in my hometown?! Seriously. (male models hopefully?)

(another sad reason to leave MTL, flesh. FLESH Flesh Flesh. Wish I could have packed cuddles for purgatory. I’ve actually never been kissed in an airport so there’s a life goal.)

Oh well, only four more hours till I’m in the body of the beast. Raaawrr. ha.

FLOWER POWER – part one

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been working on 3 films for 3 different studio classes, for one of them I’ve been filming myself getting ready, from fresh outa the shower to made up in full makeup. My intention for the project (after I’ve edited it all together) is to install it to look like a bathroom mirror itself in the gallery, as a commentary on beauty conventions, makeup rituals and the ways in which women inhabit this way of being.

To work on these projects I’ve been borrowing a Cannon (+ tripod & fancy time lapse programs) from school, and ooohhhhmygod it’s so much fun! I’d set up a floral theme for the ‘mirror’ video to farther emphasize the feminine quality of the project, and it ended up being a super cool effect in so many other ways too. Here are some of photos I’ve taken in between filming, while just playing around. (most are long exposures, fancy!)

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6am bored at a weird party bathroom photo shoot.

(post haunted house acting) (hiding from frat boys) (plotting my escape)

(This week I was in a theatrical-improv theatre-fetish-haunted house called ‘NO!’ at Theatre Saint Catherine. Each of the nights, after parties and ongoing to all morning parties included, were probably the most fun I’ve had since moving to Montreal.

There were really intense bondage tables, topless girls digging blood out of pumpkins, wind up tap dancing dolls who get slaughtered, a drag couple doing a scene I didn’t see with whipped cream and dildos, various insane clowns, a magician with his mouth sewn shut, a girl staple gun-ing her own thighs, ect. I developed the character of a psychopathic ghost clown teenager who mentally manipulated patrons, sobbed hysterically, mimicked her suicide by self strangulation, taunted and strangled her girly clown sister, stalked groups moving through the house by using secret passages to be constantly appearing in every room, trying to touch their faces from behind a curtain and spent the whole time staring at them like an haunted & possessed but curious virgin. ahaha. so so fun. Everyone was so freaky and beautiful and wonderful and hilarious and loves to dance till all hours. Halloween is just the all time best time of year. I’ll post more photo’s soon.)

Lately – Saskatchewan Summer: childhood, festivals and waiting for the train.

Jera and I got hours of amusement out of these Barbie wigs.
I spent four days this summer working for Charmaine Hussum in the paint department on the set of ‘Stranded’, a sci-fi film staring Christian Slater (watch The Heathers – best psychopathic romance – Winona forever) that’s now currently in production in Regina. The film takes place on a space ship and everything was painted one of three shades of grey.

I used to work on film sets all the time (usually as an extra or stand in) because my parents were both actors, but I hadn’t for a few years until this summer and had a really comforting sense of feeling at home there. The days are really long (usually 12 hours) and tiring (imagine me, heavy lifting!) laced with a dry, sarcastic humor but always different and interesting (I love that sense of creating a physical but imaginary space). Everyone drinks too much Tim Hortons coffee, gossips, works really hard, pulls endless inside jokes and ironically seems to be right out of a real TV show. Taking photos is unfortunately (but understandably) banned on set for copy right reasons or I’d have taken a ton of them!On July 14th we hosted a ‘Virtual Garden Party’ in the backyard at SEED for New Dance Horizons annual ‘Secret Garden Tour’ to raise funds for their never ending list of dance performances, workshops and events. We decorated our back yard (pictured here: my floral framing workspace, using magazine cut outs, my own pillow cases and antique paintings to adorn our white washed fence), had local artists/friends put together garden themed videos and photographs that were projected on our neighboring building, a DJ, and dance performances in the space. The night was a total blast and felt really more like a party in three parts: the official socializing and artsy affair, the wino-rain-dance and dress up-photo shoot hilarity, and the late night (early morning) hookah smoking hang out. Check out these great (way higher quality) party photos by Jason Orban.Artwork by Lisa Lowen at the RobBos Art Projects Gallery. So gorgeous.Self portrait-reflections photo taken in a parking lot on my (shortcut) walk downtown.There’s a new boss in my house and she’s the most adorable rascal without a name (that’s stuck yet). I mostly just call her any and all terms of endearment. AWWWWWWWW!!!Life in Saskatchewan: always waiting for a train when you’re in a rush. Taken just outside of Indian Head on our way to Katepwa beach. My sister and I spent last weekend there at a family friends cabin to help watch over their two children, Sam, 8 and Sophie, 6, who’re autistic. They’re probably my favorite people alive, ultimately the sweetest ever.

Sam has no language and is what’s called “low functioning” – he can’t take care of himself, communicate in any traditional way or learn (spacial or personal) boundaries but he’s so incredibly beautiful and intelligent in a way that you have watch very closely to realize because it’s unlike any one else. He loves patterned fabric, ice cream, playing in water, tickle fights, climbing everything, cuddling and anything that he can touch or play with that has texture and movement, like grass, ribbon and curtains. Sophie is at a much different place on the autism spectrum, she goes to a regular school and can read really well. She  loves mud, the lion king, singing, her kittens, playing outside, dress up and telling stories.

*I (very) unfortunately didn’t get any photos of them because I was always distracted by trying to keep an eye on them (Sam has a habit for running away, down the shore line, onto roads, ect). My immediate family has never been much of the cabin types, so it’s really lovely to have adopted extended family that like to have camp fires and fix boats.

Picking out makeup is hard! I could spend days at the MAC counter. Dangerous.
(wearing my current favorite, a recycled spoon ‘Saskatchewan’ ring)

This week I’ve been in Saskatoon at the Fringe festival, mostly shopping and chugging coffee. Tonight I’m seeing the latest show by one of my favorite poets, Jem Rolls. He’s british and incredible and kind of reminds me of my dad in a tough love and boxy Hawaiian T-shirt kind of way.

This weekend is also the Regina Folk Festival, where I’ll be working at the SEED booth in the Arts Market (come and visit!), wearing glitter, drooling over the mass of talent and dancing for as long as my lace-y leather boots can carry me.

busy busy busy.
OH, and I’m moving to Montreal in approximately twenty days.
Now begins the countdown of daily seizure-ly freak out moments, hard to swallow nostalgia and friends pre-maturely watery eyes of goodbye.

choooo chooooo (train sounds).