Lately – him: “How are you?” me: “Crazy”

I am wanting to tie each of my ringlets into their own little pony tails, cut each one off at my roots and nail them to my wall. But I’m thinking that I’ll wait to do this until I’m in school,
so I can call it art.

Also, I just got out of more than 48 hours in an SUV with 4 friends driving straight from
San Francisco. Fully equipped with,

-all the nasty gas station coffee you can imagine.
-being pulled over somewhere in Idaho(maybe) around 1am and having a canine unit search our vehicle for merijuana, coke, crack, heroine and meth amphetamines, ect. The dog was so cute, and we were cleared.
-so many U-turns, mixed exists and swearing.
-spilling(getting) gasoline(gushing) all over myself and my clothes, in my defense it was the 5th time I’d pumped gas ever. The first time being a little under two weeks ago, at the beginning of this trip.
-arriving at the US-Canadian border at 11:30pm only to find that it was not in fact open 24 hours, and sleeping in the car for night number two.
-car light-strobe light dance parties.
-super giddy laugh attacks at 3 hour intervals.

Before that we were all over the US of A, including every gas station washroom along the number one highway, Coachella music festival, Las Vegas, and the Grand Canyon. Our trip was only 11 days long but it felt like a month, expect so many photos.

Also: hugging may cause head wounds, according to me.

Two weeks ago I was at a house show party, excitedly drinking too much wine and coconut flavored Rockstar energy drinks spiked with vodka. While hugging a (really rad) girl named Morgan too vigorously, we fell backwards somehow and I hit the back of my head on the edge of the sidewalk. My friends took me to the emergency, I had a small patch of hair shaved(cue very dramatic and hilarious hospital scene), got three stitches, and a wicked concussion. Expect so many photos. (see first sentence of this post)

Also, I’ve been so inspired from all this highway-catch up on day dreams-thought process-reading time that my notebook is overflowing with ideas and and and
I’m really excited/overwhelmed.

But, also, very very sadly, my house’s beloved cat Cracker died without me knowing before leaving on our trip and I only just found out today(welcome home!) He was so rad, just the spunky-est all white little-lion feline. He had leukemia and had to be put down.

I’ve lived with him for almost two years and will miss him waking me up for work with little paw pats to my nose so bad. Sort of ironically, the first sign that he wasn’t doing so well was that he started to pull out all of his own hair. (see first sentence in this post)

Things are crazy. Expect so many photos.

Whadda’week

Friday:

I went into work for what I thought was going to be work talk but was instead a bunch of friends offering wine and picking favorite cuties on the greyhound rescue website.

We later made it to three of the four art openings happening in the city.
(at, The First Nations University, the Creative City Center and robBos Art Project Gallery)

Ate a lot of cheese, sat in a glass tipi, ran through a field-ish, made some new friends, drank from the communal boxed wine, had a childhood friend describe my blog as,

“It’s like a travel log, except just for your life”
– love this, had major girl talk circle time, had a super in depth like 2 hour conversation about relationships-poetry-photography-everything with someone I’d just met, had two photo shoots (one under pretty street lights and one with a lot of screaming), dance partied, got 2 for1 pizza, hugged a lot, had 4am under the covers girl talk and saw a lot of various art, obviously.

Saturday:

“I think I need to lock myself in my bedroom.”

This is a text I sent to girlfriends going out and doing fun things.

I walked down the street to the hospital and bought two XL double doubles from Robins Donuts (my mom fricken loves Robins like you have no idea, they’re so nostalgic to me) in my pajamaz with crazy pulling my hair out hair, and basked in my favorite part about the hospital: it’s like the opposite of everywhere else! No fake smiles, no small talk, no having to lie when someone asks how you are, because in fact, no one asks you at all! It’s amazing there. No one can judge you, or be rude, or nosy or snobby like how people can so often be in real life. Going to the hospital just to get coffee is kind of like being in disguise, it feels almost wrong but not actually.

I ordered the pad thai I’ve been day dreaming about all week for delivery.

I listened to CBC radio 3 forever.

I spent too much time stalking people on facebook.

I encountered a very hurtful argument with an extended family member on facebook. The kind that makes you go, “uhhh wtf! really? uhhh…. ” so I cried about and dealt with that.

Then I finally finished (mostly) what I’ve been trying to finish all week; the written portion of my application to Emily Carr, and had an amazing response from people willing to read it through and offer advice. An old friend of my dads often sits on the acceptance committee for the arts programs at the university where she works so I followed her suggestions mostly.Thanks Marnie!

Around 3am my girlfriends, Jera and Eve, came over and we drank tea in my kitchen and talked shop (this is a bad joke, by ‘shop’ I mean relationships, ha! ahahaha) which led to deciding what animals we would be, and what animals our friends would be. Eventually it was 5am and they were being the most adorable comforter wearing duo ever and I was doing impersonations of people as their animal, apparently I have a natural talent.

We had a hard time deciding what I am.
First I was a fox, nah a horse, nah a deer, hmmm no actually a cheetah, hmmm fox?

Sunday and Monday:

More hair pulling out, waiting for images to load, eating left over thai food forever, re-writing, worrying, saying “ughhhhh” out loud a lot, ect.

Tuesday:

I went to this tutorial/session on how Twitter works at The Highland Broker which I’d never heard of before but is basically a mortgage broker who wears a kilt to work everyday and his 3 rad friends who specialize in social media and business. Kind of my ideal way to spend an afternoon, chugging coffee and learning/discussing social media strategy.

Spent about 3 hours at Atlantis (downtown open late coffee shop) finishing up my portfolio. I got to that place of ‘I’ve been looking at my own art work for so long that I can’t even tell what’s good and what’s not’ and ‘I’m too emotionally attached to these pieces for my own good’. I needed to ditch two of the images I already had to be replaced with some that showed more range, techniques and materials but I was having an awful time about it.

So I decided to go find someone who could see them with outside eyes and help me out. As soon as I stood up (I was hiding at the back in a corner) I saw my good friend Eric, who had innocently just slipped in to use the washroom, and dragged him over. He was worried about making decisions for me but his un-biased reactions to each piece did the decision making for him, and me. It was also just straight up nice to feel encouraged and told honestly that I’m talented. At times like those it’s so easy to feel absolute much self doubt. My favorite part was when he said that I “have a very interesting perspective on the female body.” with serious eyebrow action happening. CUTE.

It was totally a “Who Wants to be a Millionaire – call a friend” miracle moment.

Wednesday – Friday:

Weeerked every day all day, submitted my soul to be evaluated by Emily Carr, saw the Combat Improv show, smoked sheeesha, deconstructed + reconstructed (space and emotions), moved these gigantic glass shelf cases around, made a jewelry display that I really like of a mannequin head wearing a blue vintage hat and an antler as a crown with rings on it, cried a lot and felt stupid lonely – what a frustrating human emotion – the desire to be held, wrote, went to a friends rad birthday party, played drinking card games, ate a lot of brie cheese, everything and everyone was matching, went d-d-dancing, put on my “big voice” aka my charming – selling voice, drank a lot of coffee.

You know, the usual.

Tonight I also had a long nap (but I’m still totally tired) and painted my nails.

So, this is basically my extended excuse of why it’s been so long since I wrote a blog post, I’ve been feeling guilty about it. Too wrapped up in other things and neglecting what I actually want to be doing, classic.

Here’s a screen shot of my portfolio:
(my computer is totally over worked and angry at me so it would literally take hours to upload every image individually)

One down, 3 or 4 to go. Testing my application stamina, whew.

Questions I Have For People Who Have Their Life Figured Out « Thought Catalog

This is incredibly funny and beautiful! Ironically, a good friend of mine sent it to me a few weeks ago, but I’d forgotten about it until happening upon it today.

Questions I Have For People Who Have Their Life Figured Out « Thought Catalog.

Sometimes Hurricanes Need Containers.

This summer, I saw a Fringe show by the stand up poet/story teller/comedian Jem Rolls, he is fantastic, hilarious and so inspiring. He had a joke that went something like,

 

“Why would anyone go digging around in their insides and emotions?”

 

“Well, because I’m a poet, and that’s what poets do.”

 

I laughed so hard at this point, almost spitting beer onto the person in front of me. I would say that this is what many artists do, or at least what I do, in making art. I have often felt like I cannot accurately interpret or process my experiences unless I’ve made art about them, like I cannot understand my life, or myself, until it’s been reflected back at me.

 

Magicians need direction. Chaos needs structure. Creativity needs a place.

 

I am a hurricane and this blog will be my container.